[If Val sounded “a little” judgmental before (which she did), she definitely does now.] Dera, you misunderstand. That is the exact kind of defeatism that, where I’m from, would land you dead in nowhereland.
[The blue ones. It’s always the blue ones!]
[She stops abruptly at a crossroads, facing Dera fully, and decidedly not wanting to look at all that damn flickering out the corner of her eye.] You cannot possibly imagine nothing better at all. Have you ever given it an honest try?
[He's a little stunned by her lecture, although...it really doesn't feel much like a lecture at all. Almost more like she's trying to motivate him or something...?
[In some ways, Dera is a cynical person; he's become that way, anyway. Playing pretend can't change anything, or else it would have by now. But has he ever given it an honest try? Of course not. It wouldn't make sense. There's no way something like that could work.
[Not...in the real world anyway.]
Not really, no.
I mean...no. Just no. [He frowns, he shrugs. He looks self-conscious.]
Things don't really work that way where I'm from, so...?
[Don't they though? Imagining a better life for yourself and making it happen? Chuck's really into ~ manifestation ~ lately. He takes a deep breath.]
I don't really...want anything other than...what I know I can't have.
[Lecture? Motivation? Another line Val does not care for. She can sympathize, to that detached extent, with Dera’s hesitance; of course the idea that one suddenly can just imagine anything into existence is a jarring one. There’s a reason she’s made no move to attempt the same herself.
[However, if the void of her existence has followed her here, then surely its rules do, too. (And if they don’t—well, something else for her and Dera to figure out! …Not an exciting prospect, that.) Val simply hears out his doubts; and then, oblivious to what he’s thinking of, says:]
You could have it here. [More than a little insistent.] Picture that.
[The void swallows the nearest wall entirely. If they can see far enough, it’s consuming every reflective door of the knockoff-Slurpee freezer section.]
[Val is not looking away from Dera, however.]
Now’s probably a terrible time to mention death doesn’t last where I’m from, huh? [Flat by regular expressiveness standards, that.] Still— all you want is a person? I can empathize, do not get me wrong—
[Val can barely sputter a warning before Dera takes her hand—
[Flesh. Warm. A pulse.]
[The glitching in the walls stills. It’s Val’s eyes, instead, that flicker, like a faulty bulb about to blow. She blinks, a couple times, and it stops, and she registers, belatedly, what Dera said.]
There’s probably more void outside, y’know…? [Quiet. Her hand’s gone limp, and it’s not involuntary—
[—but Dera’s right. They can at least leave this specific place. Val shakes her head quickly, hand flinching in a way that doesn’t quite take Dera’s back; it might break his grip, it might not.] Still. Can’t get any worse than in here!
[Abruptly she turns and attempts to drag him, by the wrist, to the nearest exit.]
[If Dera notices the flickering in Val's eyes, he's apparently too distracted by the ever-growing void around them to notice. He's about to drop her hand when she grabs his wrist and starts pulling him. He stumbles after her.]
Hey-- Woah-- Let's not go outside if "probably" is in the mix.
Is there like...?
[...Like what?]
Is there any way to stay safe from shit like this?
[He’s got a point there, too, annoyingly; Val’s expecting either a door to nothing, or a strip of ground that clips off into nothing. Still, her march to the emergency exit is undeterred.]
Nope! [Expressive inasmuch as it is irritated. Not at Dera, exactly; not not at Dera. Shouldn’t he get the memo by now?] You just don’t get near it and hope for the best!
Or, [hint hint,] you imagine something better. [Rudy would be jumping headlong into this. Where are those other three?!]
[The irritation isn't lost on him, but he isn't overly sensitive; it rolls off his shoulders with only a small bit of his own irritation in return. He stops walking, pulling his hand back from Val; again, he's not particularly agitated - not particularly eager to get to the emergency exit either.]
So, you try imagining something then.
[...Don't be petty like that.]
I will too. We can together, right? Away from doors that might lead to nothing.
[Val stops when she loses Dera’s hand. It’s worse when it’s real, somehow. She might have snapped had he not continued; but when he does, there’s something so… stupid, about it. Naive, even.
[It’s the foolish taunt of hope.]
[When Valerie turns back to Dera, her right eye, the one closer to the door, has gone pitch blank. Her expression is very, very careful.]
You really think that’ll work?
[Blue-themed people will really be the death of her.]
[The black eye, compared with Val's sudden intensity, is...a bit concerning. Dera's expression becomes careful in return, though...he's extremely out of his element. It's all a bluff if he looks like he's in control.]
It's...what you're suggesting, isn't it? [Was she being sarcastic?]
Here, maybe I can...tell you what I'm imagining, and we can help visualize it together--
Look, I know it sounds stupid, but the place isn't exactly brimming with options, huh?
[It is, technically, what Val was suggesting. Partly. She did not suggest she might be able to do diddly squat. That part makes the whole thing sound like the load of unreal nonsense like Dera was talking about.
[Funny how the tables can turn.]
[In response she simply nods. Their options are limited indeed. Take the stage, Dera.]
[Dera nods, feeling immediately stupid (read: self-conscious) for playing along at all, but...It could still be a dream, and if it isn't, then...Well, either way, anything could happen.]
Okay, close your eyes and just picture...[He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in through his nose (coughs a bit, but you know how it is).]
It's like this big green back yard, but it slopes way down on this massive hill. There's a garden at the top with strawberries growing, but you aren't allowed to touch them yet.
[His voice, as he relays this, goes soft. He sounds...peaceful.]
There's uh...There's a weird sculpture at the bottom of the hill. It's got three big rungs on it, one inside the other like one of those nesting dolls. You can swing them around in a circle, but...you're not supposed to stand on them while they're moving. Could get hurt.
The cars...two play cars, old as shit. Not the kind with a motor - you have to move the pedals with your feet. There are rubber snakes in the backseat because real snakes keep getting in when your--
[It’s a vivid picture. It’s more specific than nearly anything even Kade’s backstory has to offer; forbidden, tempting strawberries. A swinging, three-runged sculpture. Toy cars, foot-powered and haunted by snakes. And the bluest sky—not the glaring #0000FF of an error screen, but a real, true blue, the kind only a sky with an atmosphere can make.
[It’s a childhood. It’s soft, nigh-idyllic. And it’s…
[…here?]
[Val doesn’t risk opening her eyes first; maybe she won’t, ever. The fantasy is pleasant as it is all-surrounding; a sweet, warm dream, where kids do what they shouldn’t and everything is just… nice.]
[Should Dera look around, he’ll notice a few details askew; grass textures in low resolution, and the sculpture is warped as though run through an AI blender. On the horizon, the landscape gives way to a gaussian blur. But otherwise, the place of his memory is secure, and intact and voidless, as it should be.]
[It takes Dera a moment to open his eyes. Do you ever smell a memory before you see one?
[He opens his eyes. It's his grandmother's backyard. There are some differences - a blur here and there that doesn't make much sense; it doesn't matter. Emotion wells up in his chest, forcing its way out through teary eyes. His smile is wide and breathless; he never smiles like that anymore...]
[At Dera’s voice, curiosity wins and Val opens an eye—
[—and then the other (and by now both are clear), and her mouth falls open in an utterly thrilled shock.]
It—
It worked—!
[If she thought she was a kid in a candy store at Dream-Mart, this is a carnival. No, a theme park. No, a— It’s a place! It wasn’t predefined or randomly-generated! It’s real, live, actual place— Val could kiss the ground they stand on.]
It worked!
[She runs around in a small zigzag, pausing sporadically to make sure everything is still there, and it is, and— !!!!!]
Dera! [When Val turns back to him, her grin is wider than ever. For the first time since they’ve met, that smile is real, real, real—genuinely, unabashedly joyous.] You did it!
[It's weird. Dera's no good at smiling when he's not at work. He doesn't really laugh, aside from maybe a short exhale out of his nose. He hasn't felt "joyous" in a long, long time, but...Val's excitement - Val's joy - is contagious - not to mention the miracle he's witnessing--
[The miracle he...made?
[He laughs, but it's wobbly - he's wobbly. He flops back against one of the brick walls near the garden, still laughing, still breathless. There are tears in his eyes, but they don't hurt. This is home. He never thought he'd truly get to see it again...]
This is amazing, this...
Val, you...[He laughs again, throwing up his hands as if in defeat, but it's a giddy sort of thing.]
You were right - no, listen! You did it. We did it!
[Valerie indulges the giddy runaround just a bit longer, but she does notice those strange blurs and odd textures, and Dera’s talking to her, anyway. Might as well quit while she’s ahead, for a change.
[She kicks back by the wall with him, folding her hands behind her head and still looking around in bewilderment.]
Ha, the messed-up parts are probably my contribution. [It’s a singsong little sentence.] You, on the other hand: This is the place you imagined! [Val jabs him with a finger; a little too hard, probably, if only because she has no clue what a normal amount of pressure might be with a real person. No ill intent, for once.] Told ya you had it in you!
[Combined consciousnesses are cool indeed, Dera. Granted, Val can’t imagine what she’d have to contribute to the void-spanning conscious creativity pool, but she’ll cede the point nonetheless. The voids she’s used to are a lot more one-sided with these things.]
Ah, so it’s your childhood home after all! [Val glances around for a house anyway.] There’s no void to fill here, but I bet you could make the rest of it! Memory permitting, and all.
Well, yes! I figured that, anyway. [Familiarity, and all.] But now that you mention it…
[A pause. Sky’s still that brilliant blue.]
Y’know, here we both were, figuring we were in some offshoot of our own… dreamscapes, voidscapes, some-sortsa-scape. But a place like this would never happen in the void I’m used to, and you don’t seem to be asleep at all.
[This might be vaguely troubling. Val, however, is not particularly bothered for the moment. How could she be, with grass like this?]
[Ah. We return our attention to The Horrors(TM). But...they don't much feel like horrors right now; not compared to real life. Not that he enjoyed seeing Jeremy's eyes on the freezer doors, nor hearing his voice like an echo down the aisles. It's just that...compared to what he usually sees of Jeremy, it's actually a bit tame...
[If he starts freaking out, he's going to freak out.
[Don't freak out...]
It seems possible, yeah. Probable, even...
[Don't freak out...!]
Does that...freak you out a little bit, or...? No? Just me?
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It wouldn't work if I did it. I mean, I can't do that kind of thing.
[It could still be a dream, maybe, but...he's starting to feel like that's just wishful thinking.
[He does follow her out of the (empty) liquor aisle, by the way - sticking close.]
You're sounding a little judgmental, you know.
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[If Val sounded “a little” judgmental before (which she did), she definitely does now.] Dera, you misunderstand. That is the exact kind of defeatism that, where I’m from, would land you dead in nowhereland.
[The blue ones. It’s always the blue ones!]
[She stops abruptly at a crossroads, facing Dera fully, and decidedly not wanting to look at all that damn flickering out the corner of her eye.] You cannot possibly imagine nothing better at all. Have you ever given it an honest try?
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[In some ways, Dera is a cynical person; he's become that way, anyway. Playing pretend can't change anything, or else it would have by now. But has he ever given it an honest try? Of course not. It wouldn't make sense. There's no way something like that could work.
[Not...in the real world anyway.]
Not really, no.
I mean...no. Just no. [He frowns, he shrugs. He looks self-conscious.]
Things don't really work that way where I'm from, so...?
[Don't they though? Imagining a better life for yourself and making it happen? Chuck's really into ~ manifestation ~ lately. He takes a deep breath.]
I don't really...want anything other than...what I know I can't have.
[Him. Always him.]
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[Lecture? Motivation? Another line Val does not care for. She can sympathize, to that detached extent, with Dera’s hesitance; of course the idea that one suddenly can just imagine anything into existence is a jarring one. There’s a reason she’s made no move to attempt the same herself.
[However, if the void of her existence has followed her here, then surely its rules do, too. (And if they don’t—well, something else for her and Dera to figure out! …Not an exciting prospect, that.) Val simply hears out his doubts; and then, oblivious to what he’s thinking of, says:]
You could have it here. [More than a little insistent.] Picture that.
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No, I...
That's...not a good idea.
[He's read [insert required US high school short story about how bringing people back from the dead can only end in heartbreak and terror].]
It's...him, you know. My friend. I mentioned.
He can't come back.
[Dera doesn't mention that, for as much as he wants to see him - desperately wants to see him - he also...really...doesn't want to see him at all...
[He's still so angry.]
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[Ahh, that kind of “can’t have.”]
[The void swallows the nearest wall entirely. If they can see far enough, it’s consuming every reflective door of the knockoff-Slurpee freezer section.]
[Val is not looking away from Dera, however.]
Now’s probably a terrible time to mention death doesn’t last where I’m from, huh? [Flat by regular expressiveness standards, that.] Still— all you want is a person? I can empathize, do not get me wrong—
But there’s more to a real life than that.
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Not that I don't get what you're trying to say, but I really think we should go now.
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[Val can barely sputter a warning before Dera takes her hand—
[Flesh. Warm. A pulse.]
[The glitching in the walls stills. It’s Val’s eyes, instead, that flicker, like a faulty bulb about to blow. She blinks, a couple times, and it stops, and she registers, belatedly, what Dera said.]
There’s probably more void outside, y’know…? [Quiet. Her hand’s gone limp, and it’s not involuntary—
[—but Dera’s right. They can at least leave this specific place. Val shakes her head quickly, hand flinching in a way that doesn’t quite take Dera’s back; it might break his grip, it might not.] Still. Can’t get any worse than in here!
[Abruptly she turns and attempts to drag him, by the wrist, to the nearest exit.]
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Hey-- Woah-- Let's not go outside if "probably" is in the mix.
Is there like...?
[...Like what?]
Is there any way to stay safe from shit like this?
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[He’s got a point there, too, annoyingly; Val’s expecting either a door to nothing, or a strip of ground that clips off into nothing. Still, her march to the emergency exit is undeterred.]
Nope! [Expressive inasmuch as it is irritated. Not at Dera, exactly; not not at Dera. Shouldn’t he get the memo by now?] You just don’t get near it and hope for the best!
Or, [hint hint,] you imagine something better. [Rudy would be jumping headlong into this. Where are those other three?!]
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So, you try imagining something then.
[...Don't be petty like that.]
I will too. We can together, right? Away from doors that might lead to nothing.
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[Val stops when she loses Dera’s hand. It’s worse when it’s real, somehow. She might have snapped had he not continued; but when he does, there’s something so… stupid, about it. Naive, even.
[It’s the foolish taunt of hope.]
[When Valerie turns back to Dera, her right eye, the one closer to the door, has gone pitch blank. Her expression is very, very careful.]
You really think that’ll work?
[Blue-themed people will really be the death of her.]
Imagine what?
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It's...what you're suggesting, isn't it? [Was she being sarcastic?]
Here, maybe I can...tell you what I'm imagining, and we can help visualize it together--
Look, I know it sounds stupid, but the place isn't exactly brimming with options, huh?
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[It is, technically, what Val was suggesting. Partly. She did not suggest she might be able to do diddly squat. That part makes the whole thing sound like the load of unreal nonsense like Dera was talking about.
[Funny how the tables can turn.]
[In response she simply nods. Their options are limited indeed. Take the stage, Dera.]
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[Dera nods, feeling immediately stupid (read: self-conscious) for playing along at all, but...It could still be a dream, and if it isn't, then...Well, either way, anything could happen.]
Okay, close your eyes and just picture...[He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath in through his nose (coughs a bit, but you know how it is).]
It's like this big green back yard, but it slopes way down on this massive hill. There's a garden at the top with strawberries growing, but you aren't allowed to touch them yet.
[His voice, as he relays this, goes soft. He sounds...peaceful.]
There's uh...There's a weird sculpture at the bottom of the hill. It's got three big rungs on it, one inside the other like one of those nesting dolls. You can swing them around in a circle, but...you're not supposed to stand on them while they're moving. Could get hurt.
The cars...two play cars, old as shit. Not the kind with a motor - you have to move the pedals with your feet. There are rubber snakes in the backseat because real snakes keep getting in when your--
[He pauses.]
When you aren't looking.
And the sky is really...really blue today...
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[It’s a vivid picture. It’s more specific than nearly anything even Kade’s backstory has to offer; forbidden, tempting strawberries. A swinging, three-runged sculpture. Toy cars, foot-powered and haunted by snakes. And the bluest sky—not the glaring #0000FF of an error screen, but a real, true blue, the kind only a sky with an atmosphere can make.
[It’s a childhood. It’s soft, nigh-idyllic. And it’s…
[…here?]
[Val doesn’t risk opening her eyes first; maybe she won’t, ever. The fantasy is pleasant as it is all-surrounding; a sweet, warm dream, where kids do what they shouldn’t and everything is just… nice.]
[Should Dera look around, he’ll notice a few details askew; grass textures in low resolution, and the sculpture is warped as though run through an AI blender. On the horizon, the landscape gives way to a gaussian blur. But otherwise, the place of his memory is secure, and intact and voidless, as it should be.]
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[He opens his eyes. It's his grandmother's backyard. There are some differences - a blur here and there that doesn't make much sense; it doesn't matter. Emotion wells up in his chest, forcing its way out through teary eyes. His smile is wide and breathless; he never smiles like that anymore...]
Holy shit...
It really-- holy shit!
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[At Dera’s voice, curiosity wins and Val opens an eye—
[—and then the other (and by now both are clear), and her mouth falls open in an utterly thrilled shock.]
It—
It worked—!
[If she thought she was a kid in a candy store at Dream-Mart, this is a carnival. No, a theme park. No, a— It’s a place! It wasn’t predefined or randomly-generated! It’s real, live, actual place— Val could kiss the ground they stand on.]
It worked!
[She runs around in a small zigzag, pausing sporadically to make sure everything is still there, and it is, and— !!!!!]
Dera! [When Val turns back to him, her grin is wider than ever. For the first time since they’ve met, that smile is real, real, real—genuinely, unabashedly joyous.] You did it!
extremely rare icon unlocked
[The miracle he...made?
[He laughs, but it's wobbly - he's wobbly. He flops back against one of the brick walls near the garden, still laughing, still breathless. There are tears in his eyes, but they don't hurt. This is home. He never thought he'd truly get to see it again...]
This is amazing, this...
Val, you...[He laughs again, throwing up his hands as if in defeat, but it's a giddy sort of thing.]
You were right - no, listen! You did it. We did it!
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[Valerie indulges the giddy runaround just a bit longer, but she does notice those strange blurs and odd textures, and Dera’s talking to her, anyway. Might as well quit while she’s ahead, for a change.
[She kicks back by the wall with him, folding her hands behind her head and still looking around in bewilderment.]
Ha, the messed-up parts are probably my contribution. [It’s a singsong little sentence.] You, on the other hand: This is the place you imagined! [Val jabs him with a finger; a little too hard, probably, if only because she has no clue what a normal amount of pressure might be with a real person. No ill intent, for once.] Told ya you had it in you!
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[Will he ever stop laughing? They're only coming out one by one, but he feels them in his chest while he's talking.]
But hey, your contributions aren't messed up. It's like...our combined consciousnesses or something. That's pretty cool.
[He considers smoking again, observes his grandmother's perfect backyard, decides not to.]
This is the house I grew up in - well. This is the yard of the house I grew up in.
[There's no actual house to speak of.]
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[Combined consciousnesses are cool indeed, Dera. Granted, Val can’t imagine what she’d have to contribute to the void-spanning conscious creativity pool, but she’ll cede the point nonetheless. The voids she’s used to are a lot more one-sided with these things.]
Ah, so it’s your childhood home after all! [Val glances around for a house anyway.] There’s no void to fill here, but I bet you could make the rest of it! Memory permitting, and all.
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[He didn't quite connect those dots before if that is the case..]
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Well, yes! I figured that, anyway. [Familiarity, and all.] But now that you mention it…
[A pause. Sky’s still that brilliant blue.]
Y’know, here we both were, figuring we were in some offshoot of our own… dreamscapes, voidscapes, some-sortsa-scape. But a place like this would never happen in the void I’m used to, and you don’t seem to be asleep at all.
[This might be vaguely troubling. Val, however, is not particularly bothered for the moment. How could she be, with grass like this?]
Think we landed somewhere else entirely…?
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[If he starts freaking out, he's going to freak out.
[Don't freak out...]
It seems possible, yeah. Probable, even...
[Don't freak out...!]
Does that...freak you out a little bit, or...? No? Just me?
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